Land of our fathers, the Celtics

It finally came the day of departure: 12/08/2001, destination Dublin, Linate flight Milan - London (arr. 15:00), and flight London-Dublin (arr. 21:30).
In a hot and sultry sunny day I take the train to Milan at 8:50 (9:07 to ones who know in Italy could always happen a delay.. a couple of hours, better not to risk).
So arriving at Linate at 11:30 (3h30min before departure to London!)
I just say: "Maybe I'm the only foolish which arrived so early!"
Two minutes later, instead, two gracefulness and streamlined young girls with two full loaded backpacks sit next to me.
Their names seem to come out from a fairy tale "Mari and Doni"!
After even one minute Mari receives a phone call: "Hello George.... yes we start at 15:00 to London and then at 21.30 to Dublin... Doni... I do not think he will resist more than ten minutes before asking something to eat! "
I immediately assume two things: 1) they are in Irish 2) Doni could be pregnant? "
So, immediately after I introduced myself, and after having carefully washed their hands, Mari and Doni start to bring out all sort of food in backpacks, "sandwiches, ham, tomatoes, cheese..." and begin to eat with a voracity that not even the Albanian refugees know! I think we believe that in Ireland they eat really bad!
After half an hour in which they have eaten everything Doni asks Mari "Bah, do ou think we have eaten enough? I hope it will last until evening!" I wonder where will they hide all that stuff they ate! After a few minutes here comes our new travel companion: "Peppino, my pleasure!" even searching for a bathroom desperately!

A few minutes and Angelo Bruno and Clara reach us... we are all!

At this point I take out my garbage bags in which to place our luggage while Mari Doni and immediately toss on a service man asking or thieving him (I correctly don't remember) two garbage bags in which they bring their backpacks, considerably lightened after the "big eating"!
Ready for shipment we leave for London in perfect time.

 

Arrival in Dublin

Here we are in London Heatrow!
With, in the stomach, the fantastic seasoned pennette with a sauce that Midlands given us on board (they said it was a sauce with mushrooms but I think there should be salmon inside, otherwise it doesn't explain why it continues to come back from the stomach! ).
So we go in search of "Romans" just arrived from Rome a couple of hours earlier. First try to get in touch with the phone without much success.
After wandering through the gate 80-90 from which flights to Dublin start, where we meet no one, finally we enstablish contact with our group leader, Righetti Gianni from Rimini whom we explain (lying) that we are at gate 82, so he answered in a mixture of Italian-Romagnolo saying "What the hell are saying, I am here and there is even not a shadow of Italian explorers! Are you joking with me?"

Now we head to gate 82 and we are just arrived, when a gentleman with a white beard (a mix between Hemigway, Felice Andreasi and Santa Claus) appears in front me:" Just call this number, the others are around, hurry up we must take the first flight, beginning at 18:50 or 19:00 or 19:15... who remembers, shit! Hurry up, search the others!". We think that his votes in "organization" have always been not sufficient!
We start the research of the others without success, moreover, our flight was already booked at 21:30... How could we take it before?

To deceive the time we take a walk around Heartrow.
At some point Doni proposes to Mari "why don't we take a minute to see what books are sold here?"
The concept of "a minute" for Doni is very uncommon... After having peeled all the books, after about 40 real minutes, finally she chooses his book... A book on Egypt ... What an excellent choice!
Pityfully a little time after she notices it was part of a trilogy...

Finally reached our roman companions we embark for Dublin.
Arrived in Dublin we wait for our luggage hopefully....
Unfortunately, flying from Milan.... Our luggages are not arrived. Given that we put them in garbage bags we do a tour of the dumps around the airport... If they eventually not recognised them as baggages.... but beyond banana peels, empty cans and the remains of the famous Irish stews, no trace of our luggage. We make a complaint to the Midlands so an envelope igs consigned us with a per capita shirt, and various accessories (toothbrush, toothpaste, perfume, blades, shaving foam...).

With disappointment we take a taxi, there is a long tail.. The brave Gianni immediately stops a Taxi and with its macaroni English says: "Mo Ve come here, Su Ragassi ... Wait a moment Executioner!". I stopped two others, triggering the reactions (composite) of a German.
At this point Gianni begins to scream "I am the leader, I am of Adventures International, Mo Fan send to all Fri ass!, MO ragassi behind me ... you must stay united, Casso, where are you?"
Then arrives Policemen and ask him "What's Happening?"

Gianni "I'm the leader, mò we want to go hotel, Executioner! Mo we are twelve people! Casso Where are you?"
Pepino, outraged by the Italian behaviors of Gianni comments "Ostia.. what a shame, he must temper its words! Ostia, you need to be educated, Ostia!"
The Policemen: "Take it easy Sir, You are not the leader here, I am the leader!"
It was since 1978 that there were no longer disorders of this kind at Dublin, as it was feared there was the famous Chinese hijacker (Motemando Dili) arriving on a plane!
Finally we arrive at our hotel.
I am the only one with a DataMate shirt instead of pajamas (measure XXXXXXXXXL), I seem a Tibetan monk or just an idiot going to sleep!

SOMEBODY HAS SEEN HER?

Here we are in Dublin! In the morning we know Teresa, Neapolitan lady no longer young teacher of English (we call it Ingletano, a strange mixture of English and Neapolitan, es. Vuonte The same Wuotta! English translation "I want some water" in Italian "Voglio dell'acqua!")
Immediately we see a volcano, or rather "a crazy sheep who escapes from all sides, you watch away a minute and already she is lost!". Not at all she wears a pair of glasses with lenses two centimeters thick, so that Enzo just after viewing she said "Azzo!, Mrs Caccamo has moved in Ireland! Who knows if there are the wives of Bruscolotti and Pogliani!"
After a morning spent around here we moved into a hostel for about two to three miles from where we are.
We decide to walk it... Baggage on shoulders and go!

After 40 minutes of effort when we come near the hostel and we are going to ask where it is, Nanda (equally not more young Parthenopean girl), a core friend of Teresa, but "But Teresa where the fuck is?" Pepino comment: "Ostia, we lost her! We're just in 11... Ostia!"
Comments by Gianni: "mo ragassi do not joke eh?, mo I send all of you to the hell, eh?"

Arrived at the hostel, we take possession of the rooms and prepare for research,
While we were in the hall, at a certain point, Teresa appears from afar... I approached saying "Finally, all right?"
Teresa replies, shouting: "Do not touch me, do not touch me! Vattinne! I'll denounce you all to the police! That's Ok for you, but not for that bitch of my friend! She will hear me!". So as seen Nanda... "You are an old bitch! Fuck you!" And to Gianni "And you, Pooh! Fuck you and your fucking Adventures in the world!

Nanda: "What a Shame Teresa... calm down!"

All the hostel has fallen! Some wonder whether if they should pay a ticket for that show!

Gianni: "Mo no, everything is quiet there, now I smoke a good cigar and send all to the hell!"

Pepino: "Ostia, we must stay calm, let us been not recognised, to what a shame are we taking part? Ostia!"

The next day on the local newspaper we'll be able to read "the quiet center of Dublin troubled by Italian disturbances!"

Arrival in Cork

Here in Cork, initially under a slight rain that during the day becomes torrential!
From the bus stop, bags on shoulder, we go looking for an hostel with Gianni that acts as chief guide: "Let's move ragassi, there is one nearby, 5 minutes!"
After 15 minutes no trace of accommodation, reached a crossroads our great guide says "Mo yes, we must take the road to the church, then right, indeed not left ... What a mess of maps they print here ... then we make a small curve ..." While still in his Romagna cheatings Bruno raises his head and saw the sign right in front of the hostel, that moment Gianni says: "Bloody hell! Even maps take me by ass! Mo just in Hostel I smoke a cigar and send everyone to the hell! "

Here we are in the rooms: ours is so small, that at least one must stay in bed because in three standing uo the space wouldn't be enough! And the bed isn't so much, because since I mount on it I sink as Fracchia... Moreover there is an unbelievable smell of powder and I think it is full of mites.
Pepino said "Ostia, what kind place is this... it seems to be on the river Piave during war of '15 - '18! Wet, dirty, Ostia, I can not even change dressing!"

Before a walk in the rain, Gianni explains his plan for a vacation, resort, days of rest...."
While more or less all agree, Nanda doesn't and repeatedly said "What the fuck will we do there for two days, what a shame, why did we came to do if we don't even go there" and Teresa "I failed to make premium trekking, premium also went 3000 meters, you are not even able to do that, I walk so much, is that a problem? At first walking, this is adventure trek! "

Gianni "mo must stay calm, I'm working the ass for you.. By me you can go all to the hell! Now I go to take timetables at book office!"

In the evening Gianni gives us an update on bus schedules for the next day: "we have to wake up at 6:30 because the bus leaves at 7:45, or 7:50, here is written 8:00 and 7:55 too, I don't understand anything, what a bloody people these Irish are!"

Glengarriff

At least, "O' SOLE !" As good Teresa says: "Oh that is? Finally this fetecchia weather has stopped to rain? Uagliò Let's walk!"
And in fact this is our first trekking path: 15 km on asphalt.... when we arrived home our feet had a temperature of 70 Celsius degrees!
Nanda comments: "What a shame! ... And this is called trekking.. On asphalt it's disgusting! Fuck what's wrote in "Adventures in the World!"
The mild Gianni instead eaten lots of blackberries "UE ragassi! You can't figure out how they are tasty, eh? And they are also healty, aren't they? I already feel a bowel movement ... mò ve, I put me behind a bush and fertilize this lawns, bloody hell! "
In our trip we met a horse to which we offered a delicious Eucaliptus flavoured sweet.
Perhaps the fact is that cake had a bit strong taste... fact is that after having eaten some he continued to take out air to the tongue because that it was probably burning (however cake was healthy for him.. cough that horse had passed immediatly!).
On the way back we thought well to give our small friend nothing less than some banana skins, just eaten by him they had a beneficial and allucinogen effects, infact horse begun to perform so amazing Irish dances (I then learned that the owner now employes him in a circus in which he become the main attraction: "Charlie, the Dancing Horse," with three skins of bananas he also learned to dance the tarantella!

In Glengarriff we could see the seals and what "large pieces of seals!"
Remarks by Teresa: "Oh that is, but aren't they always bored to stand here, these stinkers? In their shoes I would have already become crazy! In life sometimes we need a riot!"
Comment of Nanda: "That's disgusting! All naked.. fat and dirt!"
Answer by Teresa "Ohh! Now I understand what kind of animal resembles you, fat apart!"

Here we are at Dingle

Unfortunately, the weather became gloomy and again we expect two awful days moving to Dingle.
We sleep in a beautiful building that looks like a castle and finally eat divinely thanks to superlative Enzo kitchen!
Every good meal has its drawback... in fact the morning after the girls were found in the bathroom erupting like Vesuvio!
They left then their masterpiece to posterity ...!

We then went to see the bay where we glimpsed the dolphin Fengie!

We passed the afternoon on Atlantic beach... while Angelo and I have tasted the water (not even really that cold) with a dip in dangerous waters... Gianni, in confusional state because of the air rich of sodium and the noise roamed through waves telling "Oh, ragassi .. that show, mo I already finished 3 photo rolls here, I have the finger burnt ... mo, to telling the truth, ... I know that I put too much paprika in the food last night! "

The morning after fortunately nothing more masterpieces...

Galway

After a long journey by bus under a rainy sky, we finally arrive in Galway, a town full of life (there is even a casino full of "kiddies" and old ladies greedy for money!)
Teresa just entered the casino: "Oh my god, I was been in San Remo, Montecarlo, Monte Vesuvius, but here's a shame! This is not a casino, this is a mess! Perhaps there are only Slott Mascinne (Slot Machines)...!

After an evening in a fairly sloppy place, free as usual from Teresa and Nanda company, Gianni says: "mo well, do what you want, I just don't care, I spend anything to send you to hell, mò I smoke a cigar and I hope tomorrow they will enjoy us all, otherwise I'll leave those pathetic idiots here alone!"

Aran Islands

After about 45 minutes by ferry we land on Aran Islands, famous for their sheeps (not lost) and their reefs. We decide to rent nearly all the bikes and do a little trip while an increasingly gloomy sky is threatening our visit.
In the evening Pepino, me, Angelo and the two graceful girls decide to dedicate to horse races.
We go to manage (better to say a little stable) and they give us the horses but, unfortunately, the "ride" is a walk with the owners that effectively walk accompanying these horses, rather sad and unwilling (certainly they would prefer to stay in the stable to see the television, that was airing on the series "Fury horse of the West", very popular in ARAN).
I have a buckle from a bike helmet, but the trouble is that my horse was not engined (they told me that they castrated him a few years ago).. To Pepino, instead, was given a motorcycle helmet (it was in front of me): "Ostia... I have to give a little gas... I am not going forward Ostia"... Never said that, his horse suffered a "gas flushing" directly on my face!

However personally this time passed riding a horse served as one hour of English lesson because I spoke almost always with Patrick, a beautiful and intelligent boy, student in Limerick.

In the evening, while outside Jupiter was dominating the scene with great arrogance, strongly supported by Aeolus, the great Enzo prepared a delicious dinner: Rice... and spezzatini watered with great Irish beer... so good that Teresa well thought of emptying a glass on my backwards "Oh, how worse could it be! It's only a bit of foam!"

In the morning we are at breakfast. Gianni and Teresa immediatly took everything possible, including a strange soup (barley and so on) that even a Dobermann would have regard with suspicion. Gianni: "Mo I don't care... It doesn't taste anything but it's good, then this is hunger. How good this butter is! No. .. I eat it without bread because the bread raises the pressure... It hurts me "
Teresa: "Aggio taken this fucking soup.. eh," excuse me madamme, whatte sup is this? "Eh.. as usual they understood nothing! This bloody people doesn't speak good English!"
Nanda: "I don't care, that's disgusting! The asshole of my son, it's three days that I do not receive his call! What a son of a bitch!
Meanwhile outside the water falls with an unprecedented violence! Wind and water, allied together, unleashed their fury against the windows of our hostel... Only mad men could think to go out today... or crazy ones: Nanda and Teresa, worn twenties' style garments, with fisherman boots Fantozzi style, indomitable, leave from hostel!
Teresa "Oh that is only nu little water! Nor was there an uproar!"
And it will remain indelibly clear in my mind their transition among our front wall glass!
Two humanoid figures dragged by the wind and beaten by storm!

Teresa "Eh what iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis that! The storm! Sta fetenteeeeeeeeeeeeeee!, Nanda where the fuck are you running! Stay heeeeeeeeeeeere"
Nanda "What a shaaaaaaameeee... dragged from wiiiiiind, hold me on Teresa! I don't know how to flyyyyyyy!"
Pepino "Ostia... two less. Well, all things considered they were not so nice to me.. Ostia!
Gianni "Mo I don't care anithing ve .. this two stupid women! They are major aged and well seasoned ve! Them problems, I'll smoke a good cigar and fuck you all!"

At least in the afternoon sun comes on and we can go away to see the legendary cliffs!
Im midst of splashing waves, which savagely crashed on the rocks, I saw a mythical image that impressed me: Gianni trying to ignite a cigar in the middle of the wind and splashes, threading his head inside a hole on the wall of an old Celtic castle.. "The hell it does not turn... shitty wind! Mo But what a spectacle! SHIT! I just burned my hand ve!"

Coming back to Galway

Ready to get back on the mainland, ferry departure at 12:30.
Me, the two sweet damsels, Pepino and Angelo arrive 5 minutes before making Gianni become furious: "Where the hell were you, I don't care so much to leave you here with these bloody sheeps, as you are also big sheeps, bloody hell! "
However we all start and in an hour we are back to Galway kissed by a beautiful sun!
In the evening, after a rather colorless dinner, we go into a pub to hear live Irish music!
Of course without Teresa and Nanda who went somewhere by themselves!
The atmosphere and music of Pub is such that we are all taken from an irrepressible desire to dance ... and dance ... including our valiant captain: "mo ragassi music makes me happy ... I can also unleash me since I just think I'm not much old... if there is some irish woman who wants I know that I can rise up the Italian flag ve, or better than Sant'Arcangelo... also the yard, let's go!"
After a few typical Irish dances a big, fat, full of beer with hard face lines and a face discreetly bad Irish man approaches me saying "Excuse me sir, we have not the license for dancing!" So I try to convince him that dancing is not bad, but beautiful and Gianni "Mo Dance ve beautifuuul is, What the hell do you want.. Bloody hell!, Mo I smoke a cigar and send everybody to hell!"
However the guy was not conviced by us... perhaps our captain leaves the room in a riot of shouts and songs in his honor! ( "Oh cock! These Irish heads are stupid but nice.. The last time I experienced an emotion like this was during the military service.. mo almost makes me cry...")

The last act is when you sing the Irish anthem, all standing with hand on heart, at least the Irish ones, since when I put mine a bloody guy just forced me to immediately remove it (given that I did not want to joke, it is not my habit!)

Cliftden

The morning after everyoneready to go to Cliftden, we are in 12 people, 3 taxi calls that will charge four of us at a time, to carry us to the station.
The last taxi is for Nanda, Teresa, Mary and Doni but... surprise, arriving at the station are just Nanda and Teresa.
I just wonder "What about the other girls?"
Nanda attacking "I don't know!, We took a taxi! There was no one at all, what the fuck you want!"
Gianni infuriated "Oh cock! You left them there, what do you have in place of the brain .. The lava of Vesuvius? Did you think to have a private taxi, I had enough!"

Teresa "What the hell! Let's see who is to blame, fuck off you and Bruno (who dared to criticize them) these stinky people! We didn't know even where the station was... I tried not to lose again, asshole!"

Nanda: "That's disgusting! What a disgrace! Adventures in the world will never see me again, assholes..!"

Soon the bus station comes alive with the rush of people to see what ever happens! Peppino: "Ostia, we must stay calm, do not expose us, Ostia! Cry in silence! "

It was since 1979 that similar "Disturbances" were not proved at the station of Galway, since there was the Aran sheep ferry workers strike!

Finally we get a new Taxi with the gentle creatures with eyes in a mixture of disbelief, fear, relief, fun..... they'll enter inhistory as the first people who have managed to lose a called taxi!

To the end

We are heading to Clifden after a journey of about three hours on the bus.
Me, seized by a sleeping hit, at some point I dream of Teresa: "Oh that is Uproar! Uproar Oh! Oh Uproar!". Also taken by the panic suddenly I wake up screaming "Oh Uproar!". The driver stops the bus and turns to me asking "What's happened!" so Teresa: "nothing, sorry! Is only a dream, a bad dream of my frend!" The driver although not understanding anything restarts again!

At some point enters a typical example of Northern Ireland man.
Height 1,80/1,85 metres, weight 100/110 KGs, square and rude face (Lazio sheeps are much more gentle...), big nose with big himalaian forest inside, with attached colored parrots.
These individuals have the honor of granting their presence at not so big distance because of the smell emanating... a mixture of rotten eggs, manure and seasoned sweat .....
Surely this people must be respected (rough on their faces is carved ancestral misery suffered by the Irish people, as it can be read on novels of raw effort and humility, with admonition to our civilization now too consumerist and flawed) but rumors say that, because sometimes especially in summer, they sleep in pastures with their sheep, the ASI (Irish Sheeps Association, Association of Irish sheeps), at the express request of sheep themselves, has requested that this does not happen anymore because the stench was unbearable and also sheeps could no longer stand!

Coming back to Dublin

After a journey of over 4 hours through the inland we return to Dublin!
We are housed in the university town. To enter our rooms we must overcome three armored doors with a special badge, once we enter we are in a room that reminds us Alcatraz (there was probably easier to come)!

In the evening we desperately look for an opened restaurant... But without success! We must satisfy ourselves withsome packaged sandwich.
Fortunately we find a nice Pub and accommodate us.

Enzo shows off of his ability to read the hands ... When comes Gianni's time, after some seconds in silence, seriously, he says him "A couple of years ago you had a physical problem, probably with the arm, or maybe a shoulder !"
Gianni: "I do not think it, mò ve"
Enzo: "Are you sure"
Gianni "MO I'm stupid. It's true, I hurted one some time ago, and I have been surged too, how couldn't I remind that! Obviously he knew this because Gianni had confided to him two weeks before at theAirport!

The morning after me and Enzo go fast to breakfast, running as it rains, but as we see hidden cameras in every point we slow down a bit, on the advice of Pepino that has joined us ("Ostia, stay calm, we do not know ever if we have be seen racing, someone could shoot at us. Ostia! Lead hurts.. it pollutes!)

We spend the day visiting Dublin. The Irish are worse than Scottish, to visit Churches you must pay!
The "Great Enzo" enters loudly breathing in a church shouting "Mummy, Mummy, where is mummy?"
"Excuse me I'm looking for my mummy, she is very old, can I Go?

After 15 minutes of free access, he comes back disconsolate saying "What a pity, I did not find my mummy!"

In the evening the "Last Supper" in a Mexican restaurant where I eat a Chili that I'll digest the next day in Italy!.
Even Teresa and Nanda are with us ...
Nanda even appreciates the kitchen "That's disgusting! they must be ashamed, no salt, no oil... maybe we have been exchanged for goats from this stinky fellows!"
While Teresa "Don't worry, stay calm, it must just go down now, tomorrow you will defecate it smoothly!"

Coming back home

Now it's over!
In Dublin, at the airport, Doni, although like all of us is half asleep, as because it is the dawn, manages to locate a pack of garbage bags (even transparent!), which we greedily catch!
We put our luggage inside, hoping that they will arrive safely and... on time!
We take the plane from Dublin to London and, after 3 hours of waiting, Teresa joined us (although she was placed on another plane) upheld by a roar of our applauses and shouts which are the focus of all! (Ostia! We're in London! We must shout and clap hands in silence! Says Pepino...)

We greet us all, giving us an appointment to this autumn for a meeting!

Conclusion
I had two objectives when I started this trip in Ireland:

Relax without suffering the hot of Italian summer moist
Having fun possibly knowing nice people

I must say, quite frankly, I was very lucky because I met them both.

For the second point I must say that the reality has exceeded expectations.
In fact, the varied personalities of members of the group have joined perfectly to form a puzzle with a certainly fascinating design and, if not a bit extravagant, seasoned with sufficient irony in all of us, that irony which is the salt of every common adventure!

Certainly the time will inevitably make memories and pictures more tenuous, but I am sure that when I'll read this 4 bullshits I wrote, my memory will come alive remembering me of you all... well, it's like we breathe together again a bit of fresh Irish air!

I hope that this will happen for you as to me!