Las Palmas: at the discover of the biogas. Trip to the Canary islands, Spain
Note: All drivers and low cost charter airlines are businesses. The events described in the story during the flight are not naturally occurring. La Palma, la isla bonita ... 3 years ago I read these lines on the catalog's theorem and I immediately thought of the famous song Madonna.La Palma is an island of the Canaries still little known (thankfully) for tourists. Warning: La Palma is an island, Las Palmas is a city of Gran Canaria, Palma de Mallorca is an 'anything yet. I did months and months to hear: "Ah, then go to Palma de Mallorca, also 'I have been there" or "Oh, go to Las Palmas, but I've been to Maspalomas. Every time I respond: "you do not understand a shit, I'm going to be a 'the other hand ...". Theorem presented exclusively for the 'Italy this destination and the first departure was on July 5. I decided that I had to go down in history and I wanted to be the first Italian to go to La Palma with an organized trip. Perhaps this is not sufficient to qualify as a "pathfinder" (although many years ago I have been really! But this is an 'other story ...), but it is one thing I can brag to your friends: I am was the first Italian to go with a trip to La Palma organizzato.Il catalog said that we stayed in a brand new resort chain Princess, which already known for having housed in Gran Canaria. The departure from Malpensa happens with about 1 hour late, but it is acceptable for a charter flight. As you all already know, charter airlines (and other low cost, of course) to keep the costs do not employ pilots with real ATPL, but they entrust their aircraft to Microsoft Flight Simulator enthusiasts who are willing to pay even though the fly a real airplane. It 'very simple: When you reach the 500 hours of simulated flight on the home PC, you may have employed by a company charter or low cost, pay a minimum of 1500/2000 euros per flight, and be at the controls of an A320 or of a B737. Here's how they keep these low fares airlines. The flight is started normally, then the "commander" after the usual welcome to the passengers, he forgot to turn off the 'intercom, so we could hear all their speeches and radio communications with the various ATC. Here's the transcript of a few moments of conversation that took place in the cabin. xxx is the number of flights that do not carry over. Privacy, you know ...:
- F / O: What good is it? - CAP: Bho? There 'was in the mortgage ... - F / O: These switches are really something? - CAP: I have no idea of caution you not to touch them.
- F / O: Shit, that looks cool: The TCAS is like in Flight Simulator, but here 's a lot more traffic! - CAP: Oh, this is better than sidestick new joystick that I bought. - F / O: But that is a mmerda not even have force feedback ... - ATC: EZZ xxxx, climb to FL210. -F / O: Climb, what? (but who says?) Say again, please. - ATC: EZZ xxxx, climb to level 210 and turn right heading for 250 traffic, 10 miles ahead, MD80. - F / O: (but who says?) - CAP: Climb to FL210 and right HDG 250, EZZ xxxx (said to go up to level 210 and veer right onto Bow 250, Bigolo!) - F / O: Ah! OK, but why not salt?? Where is the key LVL CHG?? - CAP: You dick, is not an Airbus Boeing pull or push the knob of shit! - F / O: Oh, yes! Open Climb ... right? - F / O: BUT NOT VIRA! - CAP: What the fuck ....??? - F / O: Faaancuuulooooo!! - Zip Code: E 'in front of us, shit, turns to the right! - ATC: AZA xxxx: Traffic 6 miles ahead, A320. Turn right 050. - AZA xxxx: Right 050, traffic in sight, AZAxxxx. - CAP: Virano them better! - F / O: It does not happen a fucking The sidestick not work! - CAP: Porca troooiaaaa! - F / O: P Awards and pause to gather ideas ... fuck, no, not the mortgage ... - F / O. There 'l' A / P added, that's why ... viro with the selector forward? - CAP: Yes, but .... first pull ... - F / O: Ah, now the line is green, the 'other is dotted ... - CAP: Miiiiinchiaaaa! - F / O: Ok, everything is ok now, quiet, I knew how. Luckily bastards back there who are not aware of anything. -F / O: A La Palma 's' s ILS? No, because the paper speaks of NDB procedure, but I do know the mica ... - CAP: I do not even ... - F / O: You can land on automatic pilot? - CAP: If there 's ILS, no ... - F / O: What do we do? - CAP: I'll tell you that you do. As soon as we ask the airspace to land at the Canaries' alternate: Tenerife South So there 's s' ILS and we took him down automatically ... - F / O: And the bastards? - CAP: Let them go fuck off ... go to La Palma ferry ... - F / O: Shit, it took me half an 'hour to program all the route. I turn the balls to select the 'alternate, also because I do not know how to do it ... that is, once I' ve done and I have gone all ... And if we tried a visual? - CAP: We try, but you have to go manual, including the 'A / T goes off ... - F / O: Yes, yes ok, I 've done a dozen times on the simulator and I crashed only 3 or 4 times ... You know that once I landed at Malpensa on C? - CAP: Ha! has! has! has! - F / O. Rather: I never understood the difference between FLEX and TO / GA .... - CAP: But go to hell ...
The premises were not the best, and some passengers were in a panic. I had to personally intervene to calm a couple of passengers: the best way to calm a person in panic is to take to slaps in the face. At least 4 or 5 and must also be injured in their hands, otherwise they are not effective. C 'was a passenger on the 40 years truccatissima, wearing sunglasses even in air and Gucci shoes high heels. Was wrongly suspected of being a strafigo and if the pulling bad. I was a pain so I slapped her too even though it was very calm. Fuck. But in a movie and a snack, we reach the destination with a textbook landing: even a real pilot could not have done better ...
As soon as we get into the small airport terminal in La Palma are a welcome committee in traditional costumes and even the local TV station had come to resume the "first Italians who went to La Palma with an organized tour." This time I am taking the piss but I'm serious. Girls in costume Distibution to all newcomers a banana. At the moment it left me a bit 'confused. There 's no need to be Freud to understand that offering a banana can have many meanings. But I 've taken as a welcome. It takes 40 minutes by bus on winding roads to reach the 'hotel. Meanwhile, we look at the view. Now hit the banana plantations: 's island is covered with them. Mountains, white houses, wind turbines. L 'hotel is Fuencaliente, on the south west of' island. Indeed, to be precise, from Fuencaliente takes a winding road across and down to 5 km. There 's l' hotel. Dall 'high seems at once beautiful: the 10 swimming pools of which has a stand out. E 'built in Andalusian style - Moresco: I have not the faintest idea what it means, but the catalog was written well and to me ... Continue on the site www.viaggimiei.net